Step 7: Getting in touch with your matches

You’ve carefully crafted your profile, run a search and found some matches you’d like to contact... But now what?

match.com offer a range of ways to break the ice with your chosen match and get you started on your dating journey.

Add them to your favourites

By simply clicking on the “Add to my favourites” “” button, you’re subtly letting someone know that you would like to get to know them a bit better. This button will add your match to your “favourites” list, meaning you’ll be able to find and contact them with ease when you’re ready to take the next step. Combining this step with a brief, friendly message is a good way to introduce yourself to a match.

Send a wink

A wink is the match.com equivalent of smiling across the room at someone you’re attracted to. It’s a gentle way of hinting that you like someone and would like to chat, which is why many of our members use it to make first contact before sending a message.

Send an email message

When sending your first message to a match there are four key things you should aim to do:
1. make your message stand out
2. show you’ve read their profile
3. give them a reason to write back
4. spell check it

The first thing your match will see is the title of your email, so make it eye-catching. Avoid the standard “hi” or “want to chat?” and instead pick something personal to them. For example if you like the same music you could try using a song title or a line from a song.

For the body of your email, again it’s important to showcase that you’ve read their profile and found it interesting. Mention something specific that piques your interest and ask them a question about it – this will encourage them to respond and will get conversation flowing. Keep it short too, 100 words is plenty for a first message.

Once you’ve composed your message, don’t forget to check your spelling and grammar. If this isn’t your strong point use a spell checker or ask a friend to read over your message before you send it. First impressions count!

To send your message, you will need to go onto the user's profile and click "Email".

Speak on instant messenger

If you feel you’re at a stage where you’re ready to chat to your date in real time, but not quite ready to speak on the phone or meet up, instant messaging them is a good middle ground. IM’ing allows you to get to know someone better and find out more about their personality. This will help you to confirm whether you’d like to meet them and begin dating. It can also help you save time by ruling out matches who are not quite right for you.

The match.com site has its own instant messaging tool, so there’s no need to give out your personal details. In fact, we encourage all our members to stay within the site to build relationships over time before they share any personal contact information – we’ve already got all the tools and features you need in one place, so what are you waiting for!?

Read the other articles in our '10 steps' series:
- Step 1: Why you should try online dating
- Step 2: Why you should choose match.com
- Step 3: Tips for writing your online dating profile
- Step 4: How to pick the perfect profile picture
- Step 5: Discover who you're really looking for
- Step 6: How to find your match
- Step 8: How to respond to your first message
- Step 9: Where to go on your first date together
- Step 10: The first date survival guide