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How to ask for a date?

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by match.comRelationship and dating advice from match.com
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Once you’ve begun browsing through the many great profiles on match, you’re sure to discover loads of people you’d like to learn more about. But if you haven’t been on a date in a while, plucking up the courage to actually ask someone out can seem like a big step! We’re here to help you through it.

With your fabulous profile in place and a potential match in mind, it may be tempting to sit back and wait for them to contact you, but if you really want to be successful, then taking the initiative yourself is key. Getting in touch with potential dates really is easier than you think.

Add them to your favourites

By simply clicking on the “interested in” button, you’re subtly letting someone know that you are indeed, “interested in” them.

Doing exactly what it says on the tin, this nifty button will also add this lucky someone to your “favourites” list, meaning you’ll be able to find and contact them with ease when you’re ready to make the next move.

Send a wink

On match.com, a wink is like a cheeky wave in the direction of someone you like the look of. Winking is a simple, free way to break the ice and let a fellow online dater know that you liked his or her profile. The idea is that if there’s mutual interest, the person you’ve winked at might want to wink back (or better yet, email you instead).

If you’re looking to get a feel for who’s interested in your profile, send the people you like a virtual wink to give them a heads up that you’d like to get to know them better.

Send an email message

As you will probably discover, people on match.com often receive lots of messages from interested members, so it’s important that you make your email message really stand out from the crowd.

Make your email title unique and personal. Responding to something specific will not only catch their eye, but it’ll also show you’ve taken the time to read their profile. Alternatively, inject a little humour, to make sure your email is the one they just have to read!

Try picking out something specific in the other person’s profile that you’d like to know more about, and then comment on it or ask that person a question about it. For example, if she has a photo in her match.com album of her snowboarding and you also like winter sports why not say: “Looks like you love the snow as much as me! Where was that photo of you snowboarding taken, it looks amazing!?”

Speak on instant messenger

If you feel you’re at a stage where you’re ready to chat to your potential date in real time but are not quite ready to ask them to meet face to face, sending them an instant message through the Instant Messenger tool on match.com is the perfect alternative. Remember that our internal e-mail and instant messaging services are there to help our community members build relationships over time within the site without having to share any personal contact details until they feel ready. These features are just one of the many great reasons to choose match.com.

Chatting on the match.com instant messenger is your chance to ask some great questions, so try and be inventive. You could ask about the best thing that happened to them so far that week for example, or what is their favourite dish to cook on Sundays.

Instant messaging someone is a great opportunity to confirm whether you might be able to sustain a good conversation when you meet up, and whether there might be a chance for a good friendship even if you don’t end up connecting romantically. It’s also a great chance for you to expand on the things you’ve written in your profile and show the world exactly how exciting and intriguing you really are.

When you feel like you’re ready to make the move to ask someone out, keep it simple and straightforward. If you just say, “I think we should hang out sometime…” and leave it at that, you haven’t really given them the impression that you’re keen to see how things go. Instead, try something more definite that suits you, such as “Would you like to go out for a drink in town next Thursday after work?”.

And finally, when it comes to the venue, don’t be afraid to be the one who suggests somewhere to meet. Choose a public where you feel comfortable and secure, and preferably somewhere you’ve been to before so you know what to expect and can focus on getting to know your date better.

Once you've successfully asked for a date, how can you make sure it goes well? Check out our top 5 first date conversation starters for some ideas.

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