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Texting him: the rules you should never break

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by match.comRelationship and dating advice from match.com
A girl lying on a sofa, smiling and texting

Should you text him? When you're in the first flush of love your default answer to this may be 'yes' but there are times when it's better to step away from the SMS. Here's our top 5 'put down your mobile' moments.

1. Don’t drink and text

This rule is important for those first stages of dating – no matter how much you like someone, it’s never a good idea to text after a couple of glasses of vino. Not only will you risk saying something that you really don’t mean, but you might end up saying something which is pretty tricky to back-track on later on. Steer clear of SMS when on a night out, and if necessary enlist the help of your friends to help if you look like you’re about to have a lapse in judgement.

2. Avoid games

Don’t play games when it comes to texting your date. We’re not talking about a round of Angry Birds, but avoiding the ‘mind games’ we get ourselves into when trying not to appear too keen. Text when you say you will, and refrain from playing hard to get. Not texting someone because they’ve cancelled your date, or sending a rude or abrupt message isn’t mature, and won’t paint you in good light.

3. Don’t argue

Anyone who’s had an argument with a friend or lover in SMS format will tell you that it just isn’t worth the hassle. Because everyone has their own way of reading messages, it’s really easy to be misinterpreted, or to think that someone’s trying to insult you when they aren’t. Never break up with anyone through a text message – you’ll end up feeling extremely guilty afterwards. In the unlikely event of getting into an argument with someone you’re dating casually, always talk things through face to face instead.

4. Don’t text for the sake of it

If you’ve ever been shopping with a man, you’ll know that men see it as something purely practical, and usually only reserved for when strictly necessary. The same can often be said for texting; it’s nice that you want to tell him about what you’ve just had for lunch, but in the initial stages of dating, it might be a little too much, too soon. Check before typing out that next text message that you really want to send it.

5. Don’t obsess

This is perhaps the most important rule to remember, especially if you’re thinking of texting someone you really, really like. When waiting for his reply, try not to obsess or worry too much over when he’s going to write back. Keep busy, and don’t sit staring at your phone. Once you’ve hit the send button, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to speed up his response, so save yourself the stress and get on with your day. That way, when his reply comes, you’ll be in a happy and breezy mood – the best time to respond.

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