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Dating advice for men: Who should pay on a date?

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by match.comRelationship and dating advice from match.com

Long held beliefs about the etiquette of dating often mean that that men and women think they should behave in certain ways on dates, especially in the initial stages of getting to know someone. Times are changing though, and if you’re bewildered by some of the more old fashioned dilemmas such as who should pay on a date, read on for some useful dating advice.

Dating stage 1: First date advice

If you want to set the right tone you may want to begin by paying on the first date. This shows that you’re considerate and generous, and can help you make headway with those all important first impressions. Of course, it’s never compulsory to pay on the first date, but it might show that you’re prepared to make the effort with the person you’re dating. You may find that at the end of the evening when you’ve requested the bill, your date may offer to split things 50/50. But think carefully about whether she is simply making a nominal offer and is secretly impressed by your chivalry in picking up the tab.

Dating stage 2: Advice for the second, third and fourth dates

It’s not unusual for both parties to feel embarrassed about bringing up who pays at this early stage, so don’t feel taken aback if it hasn’t come up in conversation. If you’re still striving to impress, and you’re happy to pay on these dates then by all means do so. However, if you’re not comfortable with forking out, sensible dating advice would be to suggest that you pay half each once the first date is out of the way. If things are going well and you are both enjoying each other’s company, you may even find that your date pays for some elements of the date (such as entry tickets to a show or exhibition) whilst you pay for the drinks or food.

Dating stage 3: Fifth dates and afterwards

After the fourth or fifth date, you should be comfortable enough to take it in turns to pay for each date. Don’t worry about being the first to bring it up; she will be flattered that you’re keen to plan for future dates with her. Setting the tone for a happy, well balanced relationship early on is sound advice for successful dating.

Some final words on money matters...

Finally, if you’re still not sure about who should pay, here’s some final advice to prevent any potential dating faux-pas:

- In the initial stages of dating, try not to splash the cash too much as you’ll look too eager to impress and might give a false impression of your day to day lifestyle and what you can afford. Remember that charm and charisma go a long way and are far more important than the size of your bank balance.

- To avoid awkwardness, choose dates which don’t cost too much until you have an idea of each other’s financial limitations.

- Don’t talk too much about money in the initial dating stages. Our advice is to be subtle about this topic so you don’t come across as money obsessed!

- Remember that most women will be looking for a genuine connection rather than at how much you earn. If money becomes a genuine problem on a date you should think about moving on to greener dating pastures.

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